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Active listening

Active listening[1] is part of the optimizing conversation, the ability to understand the speaker's message without any interpretation. To listen without losing interest, ask clarifying questions without interjecting one's personality. Perhaps, keeping your cool when you do not agree with what you hear is the greatest challenge here.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” - Sun Tzu, The Art of War


Aptly said this about the enemy but we can put more efforts to know our acquaintances. The focal point is solely the person talking; an invitation into the world of the speaker. When you begin with the premise that everyone wants to make the world a better place. You can accept, learn, and start on building a relationship based on trust.


This would be excellently employed when you find yourself approached to be pitched a new idea or to talk about their problem to vent rather have a discussion. To be most effective in this mode of response, ask questions, both open and closed-ended and try to break the session with "Let me think and get back to you on this".


This is not an excuse to not pay attention, not say anything or not make suggestions where necessary. In case, you are not interested or cannot help, excuse yourself. Suggest someone else who can be of more help or, even better, make the introduction. Reschedule if you are not in the emotional state. Although seemingly simple, active listening depletes a lot of energy.



REFERENCES


[1] Active Listening

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