We will use the following example of a straw man[1] to understand what it is and how to counter it:
Person A: We are meeting to decide on the design.
Person B: Yes, all our meetings conclude without making a decision.
The trap set is to shift the goal called “standing up a straw man” which usually shuts down conversations. Furthermore, it undermines others and creates the illusion of an indisputable conclusion. By itself, a disinterested response[2] doesn’t prevent us from “attacking the straw man”. Which is to digress; in the above example, meetings being a waste of time could be discussed instead of the design.
To side-step this, use the mnemonic “ReCo SafOt” (pronounced recall safety), which are four things that need to occur:
“Recognize” (Re) the straw man.
Make a habit of “calling out” (Co) a straw man.
Allow the person to “save face” (Saf).
Stay “on track” (Ot).
Person A: Meetings may seem like a waste of time (Recognize and call it out). B, we can set up a separate meeting to discuss this if you’d like it (save face). This meeting is about design (staying on track).
To repeatedly “recall safety” it is paramount to save face, which can be followed by breakouts for coaching and active listening[3]. This, in turn, builds trust and camaraderie.
“A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” - Proverbs 15:1
Irrespective of the reasons, always veer the conversation back on track is the objective:
“The eye of the bird”
Mahabharata, Arjuna answered his guru Dronacharya about what he sees on training his arrow on a bird-shaped target
The asymmetry of conversation[4] means that not everyone will be kind if we are the offender; in any case, we must react prudently. Ask for a quick minute as soon as it is possible. Make sure you cover these four points:
Being called out in an unkind manner is not acceptable and cannot be repeated.
Say sorry for committing the fallacy.
Thank them for calling you out.
Ask that they partner with you to help you get better at avoiding this.
You may have to do this only once.
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