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Optimize conversation: modes of response

A crucial team metric is how well they communicate and consolidate disparate ideas. This helps get to a better solution, identifying risks early, and have a unified pivotal at points of failure or optimization.


I'm guilty of going into conversations with the intent of winging it. How you respond is the only control you have while communicating. Without building a structure that defines the boundaries for a conversation to grow; you end up bikeshedding, participants feeling left out or not being heard.

The collective "modes of response" is the strategy that I aspire to operate in. What's more important is the ability to seamlessly switch modes within a conversation.

Each mode is very involved, situational, and recipient dependent. It is essential to understand what each is and what it is not:
  1. Active listening
  2. Disinterested
  3. Sympathetic
  4. Empathetic
These are guardrails against impulsive and destructive responses. Being within these guardrails is as difficult as easy as the modes seem to be.

Begin with identifying people who operate in a particular mode with you. It's easy to remember relished conversations with your BFF because they actively listen or how your sympathetic uncle/aunt helps with your dilemma. This allows you to recognize your own emotional state and how they talked through it with you.

From here on out, it's a matter of honing in on which mode helps you for what purpose. For example, being sympathetic instead of being disinterested could be perceived as being condescending, shutting down the conversation. However, being disinterested when you have understood the problem and explain possible solutions expresses your level-headedness. You may have to navigate a conversation with different modes at different intervals. The only thing you want to do is explicitly understand each is and where it is applicable.

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